It's only me... trying to make sense of my world.

clubsf @ 2009-09-27T22:27:00

2009-09-28T05:28:48Z

I don't need to go through another heart drama right now...
Not now!

clubsf @ 2009-09-23T12:12:00

2009-09-23T19:13:59Z

Falling in love is so inefficient.....

fitting

2009-02-23T23:11:32Z

This Gmail quote of the day seems fitting:

Quote of the Day - Anatole France - "It is human nature to think wisely and act in an absurd fashion."

this Valentine's Day....

2009-02-11T20:30:19Z

It's all about the love of house music.

***************************
Ruby Skye Presents

Colette &
DJ Heather

Featuring:
Colette &
DJ Heather

Date: Saturday, Feb 14th
Venue: Ruby Skye
DJs: Colette & DJ Heather
Music: Chicago house, funky house
Cover: $15 presale
More Info: Ruby Skye

Two of Chicago's royal elite of house talent are gracing the decks tonight, DJs Heather and Colette. DJ Heather and Colette are two of the few female jocks to dominate the scene, and have been romping it up since the late 90's. They both offer a fine blend of Chicago jack tracks mixed with disco and acid house. They are both part of the all female DJ collective Superjane (along with DJ Dayhota and Lady D). Get ready to jack your body with these super Chicago house legends! (WF)

my parents were right about something

2009-02-09T07:25:00Z

Back when I was in high school, I suffered through many nights of too much homework. One of the classes to consistently give me the most homework was Spanish, and I used to complain about this quite a bit.

Back then, I remember my parents telling me that my education in Spanish was likely the most valuable thing I was receiving from high school. And because I attended public high school, that Spanish education was free. My parents said that one day I would look back and be very thankful for the chance to learn a foreign language so well. Of course I doubted what they said, as I was extremely introverted during my high school years. Communication with people was not such a high priority for me back then.

But now I am a much more social person, and I understand what my parents meant. I wouldn't say that Spanish was my absolute most important class, but I put it right up there with my chemistry classes. I would actually take it so far now as to wish that I studied more foreign languages when I was younger. I really value communication with other people now, and knowing a foreign language opens up so many more possibilities there.

I notice that many times I have these feelings of inadequacy, living in the Bay Area and only being able to speak English well. There are so many people here who are bilingual or more; so lucky to grow up speaking both English and Spanish together, or Chinese, Vietnamese, Thai, Tagalog, and more.

I feel like I have wasted a lot of time, especially recently, as I have not been working full-time. Watching the news or just sitting around being lazy. So many more worthwhile things I could be doing. I want to make a commitment to doing more useful things, including studying more languages.

On top of my list of coolest languages:

Japanese,
Italian,
and Portuguese!

These languages strike me as very sexy and sophisticated.

But opening up the door to communicate with any additional group of people is something I would value very highly.

Miles Maeda

2009-02-05T09:30:29Z

Thanks for brightening up my night with your DJ set.

virgin america

2009-02-01T04:00:24Z

I haven't been jet-setting very much since the beginning of 2008, especially now that I don't work full-time anymore.

Back when I was jet-setting a lot, Virgin America was one of my favorite airlines. I liked everything from the seat-back games you can play with fellow passengers, to free XM-radio, to even the nice purple mood lighting. Cheap fares, of course, also a big bonus.

I just checked out their website for the first time in many, many months; mainly because they are doing a big promotion right now for their new nonstop service between SFO and Orange County. Not that I'm really too excited about that- Orange County pretty much sucks for the most part. But I noticed they also have new nonstop flights to Boston, so now 3 nonstops across the country (the others being D.C. and New York JFK).

I'm glad that they are running a successful business so far; that means more competition for the bigger airlines. It's actually pretty amazing how quickly they are expanding.

But come on, guys, WHERE'S your nonstop to Chicago??? Let's get with it! I'll be on that flight!

an interesting little piece of information

2009-02-01T00:39:11Z

Florida State University is ranked #5 on Princeton Review's list of Best Value Public Colleges.

This was especially true for me, as my tuition was practically free. Only had to pay for housing and living expenses. You can't really beat free tuition.

a low blow

2009-01-29T17:26:52Z

It may sound kind of silly, but I think it's a big deal when someone de-friends you on both MySpace and Facebook, kind of like Anton recently did to me.

Think about this, how many MySpace and Facebook friends do you have who are not really your friends at all? Maybe acquaintances, if anything. If you can keep someone up there who's not even really your friend, that means anyone you delete must REALLY not be your friend!

Sad, because I thought we were going to work through this okay, and still be friends coming out on the other side. We had good conversations about, "well, you're a better friend than many that I have, even if we're not in a relationship, we'll always be friends," blah, blah, blah. I really felt sincere about that, and I was pleasantly surprised when Anton was talking like that. He always struck me as the kind of person that would react bitterly and just disappear if anything happened between us that wasn't good.

The way I look at it is: I didn't do anything wrong. With one exception; I should have called it off sooner when my gut feeling was telling me to do so. I guess I needed a little push from someone else. In that way, maybe what I did was not good. At the same time, if our relationship was going well, I don't think I would have gone and kissed someone else.

Too many nights of extreme drunkenness and drama just did me in. Too much putting up with his subtly and also not-so-subtly controlling ways.

It's interesting to see the different points of view, too. All of Anton's friends were really surprised by our relationship's sudden end. All my friends who really know me and my situation have told me that this break up was way overdue. I guess that tells you something, doesn't it?

At least I'm not the only one who lied. My lie: I went to a bar to hang out and talk with someone I found attractive, and said I had no plans (not even any kissing involved that day!). Your lie: you said you were my friend, and now it seems that you're obviously not. At least I'm not the only liar. And I think my lie is pretty minor, compared to yours.

incredible

2009-01-27T20:10:01Z

The Disclosure Project - Excursions (Original Mix)

More often in the past year and especially in the past few months, I've been wishing I had more musical talent.

Some of these producers just amaze me. I wonder what could possibly be their source of inspiration.

Certain songs sound to me as if the producer is communicating his or her idea of heaven. I find it amazing that heaven could possibly be represented just by a carefully crafted combination of musical notes and sounds.

don't take anything for granted...

2009-01-24T20:53:39Z

Wow. This is a really sad story. It shows how we shouldn't take anything for granted- you never know what's going to happen. I wonder how she caught this drug-resistant bacterium in the first place.

from the dictionary...

2009-01-23T18:31:14Z

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<the [...] delicate,>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

Which definition(s) is/are applicable?

??

*************************************************************************************
Main Entry: del·i·cate

Pronunciation: \ˈde-li-kət\

Function: adjective

Etymology: Middle English delicat, from Latin delicatus given to self-indulgence, fastidious, subtly pleasing, not robust; akin to Latin delicere to allure

Date: 14th century

1: pleasing to the senses: a: generally pleasant <the climate's delicate, the air most sweet — Shakespeare> b: pleasing to the sense of taste or smell especially in a mild or subtle way <a delicate aroma> <a robust wine will dominate delicate dishes> c: marked by daintiness or charm of color, lines, or proportions <a delicate floral print> <an ample tear trilled down her delicate cheek — Shakespeare> d: marked by fineness of structure, workmanship, or texture <a delicate tracery> <a delicate lace>

2 a: marked by keen sensitivity or fine discrimination <delicate insights> <a more delicate syntactic analysis — R. H. Robins> b: fastidious , squeamish <a person of delicate tastes>

3 a: not robust in health or constitution : weak , sickly <had been considered a delicate child> b: easily torn or damaged : fragile <the delicate chain of life>

4 a: requiring careful handling: (1): easily unsettled or upset <a delicate balance> <the delicate relationships defined by the Constitution — New Yorker> (2): requiring skill or tact <in a delicate position> <delicate negotiations> <a delicate operation> (3): involving matters of a deeply personal nature : sensitive <this is a delicate matter. Could I possibly speak to you alone — Daphne Du Maurier> b: marked by care, skill, or tact <delicate handling of a difficult situation>

5: marked by great precision or sensitivity <a delicate instrument>

I have a date on Valentine's Day

2009-01-22T20:02:15Z

That's right! I have a date on Valentine's Day. Normally I don't really make such a big deal over V-Day, but this time it's REALLY special!

Yes, I have a date on Valentine's Day, with.... HOUSE MUSIC, baby!
I just found out that DJ Heather (one of my absolute favorites) is going on a new tour, and she'll be performing at Ruby Skye on the night of February 14th!!! I'm so excited! I haven't seen DJ Heather since last August, and I feel that that's been way too long. Especially with my emotional state the way it is now. I need Heather's set to pick me up and remind me what's right with the world.

So I'll be very much looking forward to that night! Kind of wish it was at a different club, and not Ruby Skye, but I'm not picky at this point.

I don't even know if anyone will accompany me or not, but I'll be happy even if it's just me and the music (and the other house heads, with them, you're never truly alone!).

Thanks for brightening my day, DJ Heather!

again with the waves...

2009-01-22T19:57:18Z

Tuesday was a rough day for me, emotionally.

But then Tuesday night, I taught an MCAT class down in Palo Alto, and that helped me out quite a bit. I really enjoy teaching those classes, because it gives me the sense that I'm really helping other people to achieve their goals. I'm almost certain that I'm not cut out to survive med school, but I'm doing my part to contribute to the future of our society by helping to prepare the people who ARE cut out to make it through med school.

After my class on Tuesday night, I was feeling generally better, and that feeling stayed with me through the day yesterday.

Today, I'm feeling even better still, but this is so special that it deserves its own little entry...

♥

2009-01-19T22:15:57Z

Listening to a mix by JoJo Flores. Man, I love house music so much. It's one of the few things in my life that's not a big question mark right now. JoJo Flores is such a cutie, too!

I think maybe I've been taking it for granted, living here in SF. Imagine how crappy life would be if I lived in some red state with no house clubs at all. Bleah.

I've got to get back out there! It's been too long. (last night out = Remedy Christmas party on Friday the 19th)

tango is sexy

2009-01-18T06:47:43Z

Mmmmmm.

purging the Beyonce garbage

2009-01-18T06:41:49Z

Ahhh.... Much better!
I wish I could dance like her!

geez

2009-01-18T06:34:43Z

So much drama!

Anton sent me this YouTube video: Beyonce, "If I Were a Boy." Ugh. So much drama! Like Beyonce would be such a better man than some boy she knew who "took her for granted." Please! Why should some pop music bitch be this ultimate authority on what defines a good or bad relationship?

How about this? If I were a girl, I wouldn't be giving my boyfriend drama, drama, drama over every little thing!

It is strange to be sitting here, alone, all tired at 10:00 at night. It feels strange, but not really too depressing. It's just that I haven't really lived on my own for quite a few years at this point.

There were many good aspects to my relationship, but communication about the parts that weren't good was impossible. No communication = no relationship, and basically it couldn't continue going on the way it was. And then I was given this ultimatum, we could get back together if I promise to never see my new friend again. Sorry, no thanks! My relationship had turned into a severe limitation of my freedom, and I would choose freedom over any relationship, no matter how good.

Because a relationship means so much more when you are free to choose to return, if that's what you really want. When everything is FORCED, it means nothing. In other words, "I love you" means so much more when you're not forced to say it.

Three and a half failed relationships now, and I'm starting to feel like maybe I'm just not a relationship person. Maybe life would be better just having a nice network of good friends.

And I don't need some pop music bitch to tell me how my life should or shouldn't be! Beyonce is BEYOND ANNOYING.

I already have my soul mate = house music!! No room for shitty pop music in my life!

the world of science is amazing!

2008-12-07T05:00:35Z

Some really cool stuff from Stanford Med School website about lemurs and retroviruses.

completing the map series

2008-11-14T17:41:13Z

SF's Prop 8 map.

Kind of interesting, but not too surprising. Most of the crap neighborhoods are clustered south of the 280 FWY. That was probably pretty common knowledge already.

A little bit surprising: there's not a single majority-yes precinct in the Mission. Surprising, given the stories that much of LA County's yes vote came from Latinos. Just goes to show you how Latinos are not a monolithic group, though much of our US political system still treats them that way.

Unfortunately, not the same thing can be said for some other racial groups, who sometimes vote a little too monolithically. I guess you can't really blame people who are constantly feeling the pain of discrimination for wanting to pass that along and discriminate against others. Ironically, though, it's not the gay community who discriminates against them. But I think there are other very complex cultural factors at work there.

tough job applications

2008-11-13T23:17:07Z

I guess this blog that you're reading right now would be one thing (among others) that would prevent me from working for Barack Obama's presidential administration.

I don't like to spill any of my guts for a new job, let alone ALL of my guts. It's a tough world out there, isn't it? Especially for someone like Barack Obama, who has the weight of the whole world's ambitious expectations now on his shoulders.

Some people may see my LJ as an expression of my lack of patriotism (hello, Sarah Palin); but actually, I think it's just the opposite. Tough comments when I see something about the US I don't like = tough love.

We all want the US to be the best place in the world in which to live; I guess all the squabbling arises because every person has a different definition of what it means to be the best.

clubsf @ 2008-11-10T12:49:00

2008-11-10T20:52:39Z

"Once social change begins, it cannot be reversed. You cannot uneducate the person who has learned to read. You cannot humiliate the person who feels pride. You cannot oppress the person who is not afraid anymore. We have looked into the future and the future is ours."

-- Cesar Chavez

your 2008 travel guide

2008-11-07T18:43:59Z

One of the best things about election years: we get a refreshed version of maps highlighting all the shitty places in the U.S. (red) and the state of California (green).

Highlights of this election:

1) I am more proud of the Bay Area than EVER!
2) Los Angeles County: I am more disappointed in YOU than EVER! We all expected more from you.
3) Shout out to all the states with stripes on them in this map. Especially Indiana, Ohio (the party wrecker in 2004) Florida (the party wrecker in 2000), and the southern states.
4) Two days after the election and 8 long years after the biggest nightmare in U.S. politics, I STILL can't believe we have a new prez! The reality just hasn't sunk in yet.
5) It's crazy to think about, but maybe the disasters of 2000 and 2004 were meant to be. Maybe we needed those bad times to get us so revved up for this year.

It feels good that we're finally moving in a new direction as a nation slightly more united. Though it's going to take a very long time to clean up all the garbage and bullshit that's built up in the White House over the last 8 years. If I were the Obama family, I think I'd have that place fumigated before I move in there!

separation of church and state

2008-11-07T18:19:43Z

Shame on you.

Of course I am not a supporter of violence or anything too drastic, but ANY church that contributes to ANY political campaign for ANY reason should AT LEAST have its tax-exempt status revoked.

BTW...

2008-11-04T21:27:00Z

Is today a historic election, or an historic election? I never really got that.